In today’s society, one is defined more by their lifestyle. People want the finest clothes, fancy cars, the right address/location, fine dining, and frequent travel and to be associated with people who are rich/wealthy or successful. Enter the bling generation; ka ching! What seems to matter more is who you are, what you are, who you “roll” with, what you have and how you flaunt it.
As an unapologetic miser and lover of the simple life, I have observed with great interest how some people put pressure on themselves in order to fit into a certain social bracket while those ‘without’ are disregarded as nothing; yes, classism. Perhaps one feels validated by having a certain car, shoes, hairstyle, drinking at a particular pub, or wearing a certain brand. Even if they cannot afford it, they will do anything in their ‘power’ to get it. That’s where ‘gold digging’ comes in. Gold diggers aren’t necessarily poor people; maybe broke; but more often lazy. Instead of working to attain the level of material success or comfort they desire, they would rather sponge off other people.
The combination of increased standard of living and the need to maintain a lavish lifestyle has turned some people into selfish, self-centered and gullible hedonists. Some people steal, commit fraud and even have affairs for money. While there is nothing to be glorified about poverty and struggle, many people want to force a life they cannot afford just to enjoy certain things or portray a particular image and will shamelessly use others to enjoy that.
A lot of women are lured by money, power and an opulent lifestyle. They are attracted by what a man has and his social position. These women look at his clothes, car, and career, house, and where he hangs out and gauge whether he is a catch or not based on this. Almost everybody wants to be with a person who is comfortable and happy- even I don’t want to be “rolling” with a ‘broke’ man- but it changes if you want to feed off the poor man instead of earning your keep. Naturally, a man should take care of his woman but nowadays women can earn their own money so a man who spoils her is a perfect perk. Some women do not even wait for the man to offer her money, gifts, they demand it! It starts with airtime, hair salon visits, shoes/clothes and bigger things like holidays, cars and overseas trips and shopping sprees. Is it no wonder that we have bitter and frustrated men who feel that ga ba bolo go jewa (they have been used for too long)?
Gold diggers aren’t just women! Even men can be gold diggers. There are many scrubs out there hounding women claiming they are looking for a “partner” when he is in fact looking for a fool to sponge off. These men always want to know where the women they meet live, work, what they have and how much they earn. These men usually approach women under the pretext of love. When a woman is financially comfortable, she looks for simpler qualities in a man and that’s why some women end up with scrubs that are just in there for the catch. These women are often enticed by “mind blowing” sex and romantic love. The reality is that love doesn’t pay the bills! I understand that basadi ba malatsi a baa becha. They shower men with gifts, borrow them their cars, take them for shopping sprees and even loan them money. They claim they do this because they love them. These men budget on women; he gauges that for example, by 2014, he will have finished his short course, managed to build a two and a half room house and be driving his own fong kong. However, any self respecting man’s ego is boosted by being self sufficient and being able to provide themselves and loved ones.
While there’s nothing wrong with two people in a relationship spoiling each other, relationships which are unequal and leaning more to the financial aspect are always suspicious.
If people lived within their means, saved and worked harder to attain the status they want in life, they wouldn’t have these little “stresses”. Count your Thebes and the Pulas will take care of themselves. However, I suspect that greed would overpower because gold digging is a “career” of the greedy and ‘status hungry’. Remember that Kanye West song called ‘Gold digger’? ‘I ain’t saying she a gold digger, but she ain’t messing with no broke n*kka!’ *does the booty hop dance*
