Are we raising little devils?

Kevin Mokento | Monday January 24, 2022 06:00

All people whose marbles are intact would unflinchingly speak favourably of the phenomenal benefits of the Internet. Alongside the benefits are many downsides, which parents must pay attention to.

Though somewhat hard to swallow, the truth is, the availability and affordability of the Internet driven technological gadgets has resulted in a blooming and sedentary net-generation of children. I would say, if our tech-savvy children’s dexterity in effortlessly surfing the net and devouring its content were possessed of speed, light, the fastest known object in the universe, would surely lag far behind. I was born in the late 1960s in Molepolole. I first laid my eyes on a TV set in South Africa in the late 1970s.

But I can’t complain about my childhood. I am always glad to reminisce nostalgically about the few things that threw flashes of enduring excitement to my primal life. My physical interaction with friends and family. Effortlessly marching to and from school, a distance of about 30 minutes one-way. Happily rolling a drum to fetch water from a public tap. Confidently beaming with smiles as I energetically pushed home a wheelbarrowful of groceries from the only self-serving shop then, the Co-operative Store.

Cheerfully spending time at the library reading various books including the best of international journals. Gleefully enjoying the sonic delights of looking up to the firmament and reveling in the tickling of my ears by the noise generated by a powerful jet as it flew through our airspace. I must say, I always looked forward to the next day with great enthusiasm.

In a vain attempt to discourage my children from spending too much time on the Internet, I have always shared my experiences with them, and they have always given me that derisive look of, ‘Here goes the pitiful Neanderthal again!’ I get the impression that, like Don Quixote, I might be stubbornly tilting at windmills, but I have promised myself never to give up.

I am determined to persistently do what is right to ensure that the windmills do not emerge victorious. Of course, like many, I too, have now been sold to the Internet. The one thing I always bear in mind is the need to be exemplary in using the cyberspace. Children are prone to imitating their parents. If we are in the habit of cutting them off while busy with social media platforms like WhatsApp, Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and others, they too might do the same to us and their siblings.

The biggest challenge we face as parents is the fact that our children are often opposed to any measure of guidance or supervision. Owing to their addiction, their fingers are always itching for their digital device, and they would squeal and whine when encouraged to devote their attention to other upbuilding activities. They would demand a passepartout to use the Internet anyhow, anywhere, anytime and anyway. Any attempt to restrict or limit usage will always be met with unwarranted paroxysms of rage. Not at all discomfited by their sly scheme, we should, with scant if any sympathy, always view this as a futile endeavour to guilt trip us. Our children would without fail take advantage of any semblance of fractional hesitation. We need gall and grit to ignore those tantrums, simply because we love our inexperienced children. Our children are exposed to content that will make our heart flutter in shock. Reckless indulgence will never be in their best interest. And our love for them must motivate us to make peace with the fact that they are not passive viewers of online content, no, they are willing and active users.

What they read and see is whooshed to their brain, and as the brain processes it, they might be motivated to act, in many cases, in a way that would demonstrate that they are desensitised of their values. The very same way television was faulted for exposing children to violence and in the process prompting incipient aggressive habits! Could we, with our permissive stance on the use of the Internet, be raising little devils, hopelessly hooked to the screen, and immersed neck-deep in some form of Internet addiction disorder? Shouldn’t it be our deep desire to rear young ones possessed of high moral ground and endowed with a razor-sharp sense of integrity? Confused with acts of tyranny, our acts of love would not matter a jot to our inexperienced children and might take long to carry resonance. We are aware of the dark side of the Internet, and we are keen to do what any responsible parents would do, and that is, to move heaven and earth to protect our children.

For that reason, knowing that the Internet is saturated with insalubrious content, we would not leave its use by our children to chance. Ever mindful of the prevalence of unwholesome online content marked by a triad of graphic content: senseless violence, sexually explicit material and hate propaganda, much against our children’s will, we will take decisive action to quell any unhealthy use of the Internet. Much as we tend to believe written stuff, we want to warn our children that they cannot believe everything they read online.

They need to know that the credibility of some of the information posted online is questionable, and they might be oblivious to this since fact-checking is not a requirement for most websites. Our concern about the safety of our children will compel us to teach them how to identify a secure website and how to protect themselves from cyberbullies and harmful pop-up windows. We need to educate them on the type of content they can freely share with the public. We must advise them that the malicious side of the Internet has revealed that not everybody is who and what they claim to be. In fact, lurking in the dark corners of the cyberspace is a swarm of evil predators.

We need to lovingly sensitise our children to the importance of self-discipline and encourage them to resist the pressure to either fall for sexting or sharing too much information. Our heartfelt affection for them will drive us to warn them of the fact that whatever they post online, even if deleted after a while, would likely stay forever in the global digital landscape.

The displacement effect is a headache for many parents. The Internet tends to place more emphasis on virtual interactions and has to a very large extent displaced conventional media like television, radio and newspapers. Nowadays, most families tend to listen to radio only for important live broadcasts or when driving. The inordinate amount of time devoted to the Internet by individual family members has led to more time dedicated to online chats and games, and less to exercising or the physical interaction with friends and family.

The availability of Wi-Fi and several TVs in a household has displaced the traditional huddling of family members around the only TV at home. Individuals are more inclined to go for streamed online material that suit their taste.

Not only that, the culture of reading a book, whether fiction or non-fiction, has been drastically compromised. Add to that the risk of depression, insomnia and obtaining lower grades at school, all of which are the baggage that comes with the heavy usage of the Internet. May we play our part in actively raising little angels rather than little devils. As encouraged by an American author named Vincent Peale, may all parents, “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”