I can't believe my son murdered his girlfriend

Gaone Monau | Tuesday June 7, 2022 06:00

Dear Anonymous There is a plethora explanation as to why some men commit femicide suicide which is popularly known as passion killings in Botswana. This article will touch on some of the motivations behind certain men killing their partners in love relationships. According to the theory of male proprietariness, men in intimate relationships believe that they own women; such men are of the view that no other man must ever date/marry their partners except themselves. They also believe that their female partners ought to stay in relationships with them as long as such men so wish. Because of the patriarchal system men feel entitled to dominate women in love relationships resulting in unequal power in the relationship.

Proponents of the male proprietariness theory argue that femicide suicide is a result of males treating females as their property and therefore feeling like failures when females decide to exit the relationship. On the other hand opponents of the male proprietariness theory proffer that men do not just kill their partners out of the notion that women are their property. Some commit femicide suicide because of the fear of rejection, stress, economic factors e.t.c One of our fundamental needs as human beings is love; it is therefore no thunderbolt that we sometimes fear being rejected by the people we so dearly love.

At some point in our lives we may feel rejected i.e. you may be passed over for a promotion at work, a lover may dump you, friends or business partners may sever ties with you. How we handle rejection can either build or destroy us. Occasionally, femicide suicide an indicator of the fear of rejection handled destructively. The fear of rejection may stem from hopelessness. When parties have been dating or married more especially for a lengthy period and the female partner decides to call it quits without a meeting of the minds, the man may be encircled in gloom and doom. Countless thoughts as to how the future would be agonising and dull without their beloved may flood their mind. Studies show that males tend to externalise blame and express moral outrage when going through turbulent times. Conversely females are prone to internalising blame and falling into depression during stormy seasons.

Therefore men’s tendency to externalise blame when acutely stressed or livid sometimes results in them blaming their lady friends for split ups thus committing femicide suicide. In most instances males are more economically sound than females. Consequently, some men gratuitously invest in their girlfriends financially whlist dating.

The severance of a relationship by their lovers on that account may be deemed as a great financial loss hence some men’s resolve to kill their darlings and themselves. We need a paradigm shift on our relationship views as a society. Perhaps if certain quarters of our societies domiciled in their hearts that relationships ought to be equal partnerships where parties share power in their love paradise instead of a dictatorship where the man solely dominates, statistics on passion killings in Botswana will dwindle. Men grieving from loss of a relationship also ought to trust their capability to navigate through the maze of life even without partners they so affectionately adored.

The end of affinity may be a shield from being in a loveless relationship; for ‘love in lovelessness’ often breeds bitterness, mistrust, and all sorts of mayhem. It is vital that males be encouraged to constructively express their deepest pains and worries without fear of being labelled as sissies. Femicide suicide in some cases is a compound effect of men’s failure to consistently identify and process painful emotions constructively. The economic gap between men and women ought to be closed as much as is achievable.

In the absence of sterling financial differences between males and females, parties in a love relationship would most likely reciprocate financial input in each other’s lives, thereby reducing prospects of femicide suicide if the relationship terminates. Conclusively, the causes of femicide suicide are so multi coloured and diverse that they cannot be articulated in one piece. Nonetheless, it is my legitimate hope that this article has shed a bit of light to your mental faculties. Gaone Monau is an attorney and motivational speaker on the areas of confidence building, stress management, relationships, self-discovery, gender-based violence and other specific areas of the law. For bookings, motivational talks, questions or comments on the aforesaid areas contact +26774542732 or laboutit22@gmail.com. Her Facebook page is Be Motivated with Gaone.