Let’s host Afcon

Thulaganyo Jankey | Tuesday June 14, 2022 06:00

Our most alluring image of the efforts of our team is a midfielder who burst a ball by blocking an opponent – hardly the stuff to bump up one’s football pedigree. But some local fans were desperate to rose colour our Afcon effort and exploited this to the maximum.

First and foremost stadia (or stadiums for the uninitiated) have to be brought to the right standards. The stadium contractors will have to be brought to a special workshop so we do not have the kind of mishaps like the time when they built a stadium in Francistown in readiness for the 2010 World Cup.

All stadium contractors must be brought to a workshop on Stadium Construction and Maintenance where they will be taught the importance of construction speed and given calendars. Before you laugh at the last bit remember the construction companies that were readying the Francistown Stadium for the 2010 World Cup totally lost track of time and ended up finishing the job after the 2014 World Cup.

How is that for snailing? I am sure this is snugly domiciled in the Guinness Book of Records. Cynics suggested several names for the stadium before it was christened Obert Itani Stadium. Some of the more polite – forget less flattering- names suggested were Snail Speed Sports Complex, Multiple Contractors Stadium and Tortoise Marathon Stadium. Truth is we cannot afford stadia that get completed several years after the tournament when we are the actual hosts.

We must also work on our team so that when the minister makes his presentations he can shore it up by mentioning the exploits of our national team. At this point the minister has the unenviable task of having to answer questions about how his team has performed before in the competition and the Wooden Spoon, which is a prize for the worst team in the tournament, is hardly something to enhance a proposal especially against rivals who have trophies to show. So the national team must take their job seriously and start beating opponents.

We must also start having overseas-based players. That always scares opponents even if he’s playing in Latvia. Our media should also capture this properly so that it sounds threatening enough. Like they should always call them overseas-based rather the more tepid Latvia-based and just leave it there. Our coach should also work hard and always shout at the players. Coaches that shout at players are taken seriously by the players and their employers and they also look like they will make their team win.

The Minister of Youth, Sports and Culture is making the right noises. Of course our sports minister is always making noise which is usually a mix between the right and wrong noises. This time he seems in his element unlike in Parliament where he’s always misunderstood and seems to be wearing a pitbull mask all the time. I suggest, however, that he should be shorn of the youth and culture responsibilities.

No minister tasked with bidding to host a major tournament should be saddled with teaching youth how not to eat money from CEDA loans and how to dance wearing skins in what is traditionally called traditional dance. So for this to actually happen everyone must pull themselves up by their bootstraps including those who do not actually have boots. We cannot afford to have slackers if we are to bring this home. (For comments, feedback and insults email inkspills1969@gmail.com)