When war happens

Thulaganyo Jankey | Tuesday October 25, 2022 06:00

The two then decided to use guns to come to an agreement. The one whose guns have the heaviest thump will essentially be the one whose thoughts, reasons and ideas will carry the day.

This is what happens during a war. If your country loses the war suddenly you are shorn of the smarts to participate in the resolution of that feud and the country whose guns have the loudest thump will take over and decide what happens. It is a very strange paradox in a world where humans have made great strides in development and thinking.

Usually when there’s a feud between two countries they come to a table and have a discussion to resolve it. This is the path that we had hoped would be followed but, alas, it was not to be.

So we left them to their own devices and filed their little feud in the Annoying Episodes File. That is until one day we went to the grocery store and found the price of cooking oil had trebled. That is until we got to the fuel station and found that the price of fuel had bumped up by about 30%. That is until the number of people sms’ng and sending callbacks doubled.

Everything was blamed on the war between Russia and Ukraine. People failed to pay their debts and blamed it on the war in Ukraine. There was no medication in health facilities and people had to endure operations without anesthetic and some were forced to drink whisky to numb the pain during the process. It had now become the standard national excuse for delinquency and ineptitude. One thing lacking about this war is proper nomenclature.

This is just Ukraine vs Russia War. How bland and boring! In the olden days when war was taken seriously they would have called it something like the Russo-Ukranian war. I suspect there were companies trading in giving labels to wars. These would have been the companies that came up with names like Russo-Japanese War in 1905 and Sino-Japanese War in 1894.

These companies shut shop in 1945 at the end of the World War II. After the haemorrhaging and loss of lives surely no right-thinking president would put his people through such an experience.

There was a time Namibia also tried to agitate for war with Botswana because the latter killed the former’s citizens whom it had identified as poachers. It seems a tad bit unfair though that poachers were shot at and killed because that is not the standard antidote here at home.

Many poachers are walking the streets while the number of animals especially bucks keeps dwindling. Every fourth person you meet in the street here is a poacher and you are probably sitting next to one right now. And I am saying this with a straight face. Local poachers don’t understand the meaning of poaching that is why they are never shot at by the Anti-Poaching Unit. Local poachers believe poaching involves shooting and killing large game like elephants and rhinoceros (the latter is now simply called rhino because its numbers have fallen to alarming levels due to poaching). So to them killing rabbits, impala, springboks is not poaching.

The Wildlife Department’s policy of not shooting at local poachers has meant the population of the country has not been adversely affected. So like most African projects, the Namo-Botswana war didn’t happen mainly because for anything to happen in Africa, it has to be preceded by a series of meetings. In these meetings they will then discuss the merits of taking up arms against aggressors.

The discussion usually ends with thick volumes of minutes that are passed on to other committees. These will then have their own meetings to rubberstamp the decision of the lower committee. But because of the debilitating effects of COVID-19, there will not be enough funds to actually hold such a meeting as the leaders run helter-skelter to move money from other votes – usually Disaster Fund vote – through some soft and subtle intimidation of bewildered civil servants.

By the time the meeting is finally convened, everyone has come to their senses and the fury has somewhat drained. This is the reason why the much-unanticipated Namo-Botswana war has not happened.

This cycle will be repeated as soon as the Anti-Poaching Unit shoots and kills another foreign poacher. War is so out of fashion but in our brains and systems, we must have a little space for leaders with itchy fingers and little vindictive brains. ` (For comments, feedback and insults email inkspills1969@gmail.com) Thulaganyo Jankey is a training consultant who runs his own training consultancy that provides training in BQA- accredited courses. His other services include registering consultancies with BQA and developing training courses. Contact him on 74447920 or email ultimaxtraining@gmail.com.