Men, men and more misery

Thulaganyo Jankey | Tuesday December 20, 2022 06:00

We think women are harder to understand. One of the most frightening stats I have come across is that 25% of men are on medication for mental illness. That's scary. It means we have 75% running around untreated.

The untreated are walking around running and ruining the economy. The John Crazys are in charge of fighting and thwarting the fury of COVID-19. We have the Peter Psychos deciding on the trajectory of national developments.

You think I am crazy? Well, yes but aren’t all men like that? Another example: if you see people who have paid good money to stand on an outdoor stadium on a freezing day wearing nothing but paint on their upper halves those people would be men Craziness in men just comes with the package. Now that the world cup is in full swing there seems like all the crazy bones have been unleashed and activated somewhat.

A combination of men and soccer is a recipe of madness. Add alcohol and you have a nice cacophony of even more rubbish. But in Qatar they have very little tolerance for the holy waters. This is meant to keep the crazy football group in check.

I don’t know to what extent that will work though because soccer itself seems to have the same craze-inducing ingredients. So it could well be the police in Qatar are trying to hold up a breaking dam with a can. Men think killing other men will solve regional and world problems. What kind of reasoning is that? Let’s say Zimbabwe decides that Botswana is an a** and invades Botswana and start killing me and my friends. Does that now mean these issues that were a bone of contention will now be resolved? This can only be the stuff of madmen.

How do you explain the wisdom of killing third parties when you have an argument with your counterpart? Imagine the epitaph on your headstone reading something like ‘here lies David Unfortunate who died because President Idiocy and President Raabish had an argument’. I mean who wants such an epitaph like that? It could well be a possibility with modern presidents Donald Trumping and overdosing on stupidity. We are more used to epitaphs like ‘here lies a great man’ on the headstones of not-so-great men.

In our culture that is how it works. We give you the last honour in death which is usually laced with more flattering verbiage. When people that could not lift a hoe to weed die – people that spent most of their time imbibing in local brews die—we praise them and call them farmers. This is a safe spot – perhaps even the sweet spot—for many.

Yes, there is definitely some craziness where men are concerned. Sometimes you can actually feel it hovering and festering in the air. Maybe Radithupa Radithupa should include a Craziness Level in his weather forecast. Something like 'Tomorrow it will continue to be hot with a 60% chance of somebody getting fatally shot over what will turn out to be a losing lottery ticket'. We always think we are smarter than women. This is until we start arguing with them. Men through some tragic mental flaw will always come second when they engage women in any sort of argument. I remember a little seemingly innocent encounter I had with a woman at a local drink hole.

A sly woman trying to ensnare me into buying her a beverage said, 'I love you with all my boobs.' Trying to correct her elicited an even smarter response when she said, 'I could say my heart but my boobs are bigger.' It seems some women have worked this into an art. With a compressed budget and a wallet that kept thinning I wanted to keep the discussion at semantics to ward off the inevitable ‘get me one too’. There’s a little epilogue to this tale though. My night was cut short mainly due to an emptied wallet courtesy of being ‘loved with all boobs’.

The old adage love comes at a price had once again reared its seven-horned devilish head! (For comments, feedback and insults email inkspills1969@gmail.com) Thulaganyo Jankey is a training consultant who runs his own training consultancy that provides training in BQA- accredited courses. His other services include registering consultancies with BQA and developing training courses. Contact him on 74447920 or email ultimaxtraining@gmail.com.