Mr Ponzi Scheme Leaves Town

Thulaganyo Jankey | Tuesday May 16, 2023 06:00

Half the population will follow him blindly until they fall into an abyss. When Mr Ponzi Scheme is in town, many folks lose their minds. It is like when the ice cream van hits your street and parents lose control of their kids.

Consumer Watchdog talked until they turned blue in the face but the money-chowing mob kept finding reasons to ensnare more unfortunate and gullible citizens. Ponzi schemes seemingly are here to stay.

Ponzi schemes are a bit like popcorn where in the beginning corn is popping everywhere and the oven is a whole happy place. But after a while the popping is sporadic and eventually dies down.

This is when you hear things like ‘due to the high number of claims we have received this week, you might experience delays when you withdraw your profits. Our finance team is busy working on it and you should be able to get your dues by the end of the week’.

Usually ‘end of the week’ is meant to give Mr Ponzi to saddle his horse and ride off into the sunset and pop up in a different country and set up using a different and more funky name.

Ecoplexus, whose moniker seems to be inspired by an elegant Toyota model, is the latest one to reach these shores. Everyone climbed on. The skeptics, though, could see the danger in investing in this.

It was more like a family picnicking on a rail track – danger was always lurking and inevitable. Whenever you met someone who was enjoying the withdrawals, Ecoplexus their way of greeting had changed to Ecoplexus – that was the first word out of their mouths that is. They even had red t-shirts with Ecoplexus printed across the chest to complete the ‘been there, done that and got the t-shirt’ adage perhaps. Ecoplexus had taken over and there was nothing the skeptics could do to stop the train.

A few friends called me to onboard and start ‘eating’ money but I neither had the spherical things nor the bank balance to onboard without greatly compromising my marriage.

Now most of the citizens are embroiled in arguments after the sand castle came crushing down. Those who had hoped to get more profits are wearing permanent scowls and some look like they have swallowed a whole truck of lemons. The ‘we told you so’ crew is not giving them any respite and there is a whole civil war bubbling under the surface.

Most wars these days, with the exception of the Russia/Ukraine, take place on social media and the ‘jealous’ half that didn’t join are being accused of poking their little noses into other people’s business when they clearly did not have the bank balance to invest in a scheme that has now turned into a scam.

Most ‘investors’ now have to account to their spouses regarding what happened to the family finances.

This could well result in a busier than usual divorce court. I took a risk writing this piece because people that have lost money after being made to believe they will soon turn into millionaires don’t take kindly to such ‘I told you so’ pushbacks. So when you hear I have disappeared know that it had something to do with today’s column. But don’t worry too much because as a columnist I have Houdini molecules in my anatomy.

This Ecoplexus saga is going to confuse the country’s leadership because as it is now, there’s an itch to have a minister of electricity since load shedding is creeping back slowly like a tortoise waddling through peanut butter. Therefore a Minister of Ponzi Schemes, which is an urgent need right now, might not happen when people are now forced to start using generators for lighting and fire to cook their food. And when people start cooking their food over open fires they don’t become very happy and vote out governments.

So the Minister of Ponzi Schemes will for now have to wait in the ‘Your Turn Will Come’ corner. Patiently! (For comments, feedback and insults email inkspills1969@gmail.com) Thulaganyo Jankey is a training consultant who runs his own training consultancy that provides training in BQA- accredited courses. His other services include registering consultancies with BQA and developing training courses. Contact him on 74447920 or email ultimaxtraining@gmail.com.