Your harmony is noteworthy the furthermost

Kealeboga Ngwigwa | Tuesday June 20, 2023 06:00

I will not lie, it has been a bitter- sweet relationship, which at first I thought it is a normal thing for any relationship to experience. For the past months the complexion of the normal I am familiar with, changed and became so toxic and dangerous for both of us.

I am so scared for us. I have thought of leaving the relationship but I feel like I have invested a lot in it to let it go easily. When we started dating, we had partners whom we both had children with.

We then decided to dump our partners so that we could be with each other since we were both convinced that we shared a mutual passionate affection. We never got to think twice about and here we are.

We have had so many big fights that I have even lost count of them. Some were so huge that law enforcement agencies would intervene. The last fight she lied and reported to the law enforcement agency that I raped her. That accusation posed a threat on my professional career until she dropped the charges and we continued dating.

My family nor my friends are in support of the relationship. I have been advised so many countless times to break-off the relationship but it is not easy. About a week ago, we had a team building exercise at work which ended up as a party session. During the session, I saw her flirting with a colleague she has always denied affiliation with and my anger broke out.

I hit her in front of my colleagues and I am facing a possible expel at my work and that alone is detrimental to my career future. What should I do Coach? I am losing my life. Yours, Anonymous

Dear Anonymous Love is a very tricky thing. It can put your life on a bed of either life or death. It is, unfortunately, all up on our minds. Our perception towards love, gives taste to the life we shall inhabit. Sometimes what we call love, is not actually love but rather obsession to the high degree. From what I pick on your letter, you guys are keeping the relationship simply because you have people you must prove that the relationship is living and vibrant. Well, it is not important if it troubles your peace.

Peace is essential, moreover, we, each, need it alive and dead. I would also appreciate that the relationship has really put you through a lot; from rape accusation to possible work exorcise. What is it that is worth to cost you all your sweat? I often advise people to prioritise “self” above anything else. We are not born with over love partners, we meet those bearing 32-teeth pack in their mouths. Why do we get glued to them rather than those in our bloodline? I hope you will reflect on the questions I pose herein my correspondence so that you establish a solid position that I hope you could commit to in order to save guard your peace with every fibre of your being. You have nothing to prove to anyone at the cost of your happiness. I would advise you quit because I personally foresee the unimaginable and passion killings are never the solution. I pray that you figure it all out and do the best thing in your life and save your professional life. #ColoringSouls

Dear Coach, I am a professional aged 48 and I have been working for one of the biggest corporations in the country for the past 21 years. My work environment is so toxic and I cannot bear the heat anymore.

Of course, scared of challenges outside the work sphere, I have been too hesitant to resign from the organisation yet I have brilliant ideas but without enough capital to fund them. A couple of months ago, I identified an opportunity fit enough to make me escape my nightmares. The organisation released a voluntary exit exercise that sought to yield a great split package. So, I believe that the package earned from the separation exercise would be used to finance my entrepreneurship ambition and I could break free from oppression and mistreatment from some of my principals.

I took a shot and applied for it. It has been a while since some of my colleagues and I applied for the course but there has not been any feedback of the same. I toil on a lot of confusion and anxiety filled by whether my application will be successful or not. My idea is challenged a lot often in my mind and thoughts because it is stalling to unfold. I do not know what to do because I have tried to reach out to them for guidance but to no avail. What should I do to keep sane in this predicament? Yours, Arona

Dear Arona, I can imagine what you are going through my dearest friend and it is not a comfortable position to be under. I understand that you really want to leave your organisation so bad and the gate way is through the separation exercise.

According to my little knowledge about this labour practise is that even though you may have expressed your interests to such, it is still upon the company to approve or decline your application depending on the needs of the organisation. The reality is, you are still an active employee of the company until you also acknowledge their acceptance of your exit offer.

Therefore, you ought to perform every duty on the dotted line that catapults the company to its objectives. In other words, forget about voluntary exercise and focus on what is on the platter currently. I will still advise that you pen down your plan comprehensively and grow staunched faith on them despite the negative thoughts that whirlpool into your mind.

I hope you will put your head in the right place and act accordingly since there is a lot to protect. #ColoringSouls Kealeboga Ronald Ngwigwa is a Life Coach, Author, Columnist, Team Builder and an Events Director who believes that emotions build an attitude which ultimately builds one’s character. Forward your enquiries to krcoloringsouls@gmail.com or WhatsApp +26772522213 for advices.