A sisterhood in marriage
Sharon Mathala | Sunday August 27, 2023 08:05
Before the interview starts, the wives have one request. No questions about their sleeping arrangements. Whilst many would have wanted the pair to answer the particular question, the two sister-wives’ love story is deeper than that. They found each in the most ‘unorthodox’ ways, as their husband loved them both.
In this candid interview the first wife, Kagiso, says she almost divorced her husband. She shares that she had noticed her husband may have been cheating on her and so she stole the other girl’s phone number.
She called this girl and told her that she was Kemmonye Sekati’s girlfriend and warned this woman (Mpho) that they were HIV positive and that she should stay away from Sekati.
“I then confronted him (Sekati) about it and he promised to break it off,” Kagiso said, adding that little did she know their relationship would go on until they (Mpho and Sekati) birthed their firstborn.
“When I found out about the baby I felt betrayed. I was broken, I was disappointed in him and in fact, I wanted nothing to do with him. I actually told him that I was going to file for divorce, and actually, I had started the process,” Kagiso shared.
Meanwhile, Mpho says her now polygamous family was nothing she would have imagined. She says when she met Sekati, he never disclosed to her that he was married. They spent all the time together. Mpho defended her actions.
“It was only until I got a call from KG (Kagiso) that I confronted him about it and he confessed. Up until then, he was not wearing his wedding ring. I was a bit skeptical about our relationship, so I pulled back afterwards. But he was persistent and told me he loved us both. He told me of his intentions, which at the time I thought were absurd,” the younger wife shared.
Following the birth of their first child, Mpho says she had to face the wrath of her family who called her all sorts of derogatory names for having had a child with a married man.
“And whilst all this was happening, I doubted myself because as much as the harsh words pierced through my heart, they were true. I had a child with a married man,” she said.
According to the young wife, her husband, however, never at any point told her that he would leave his wife for her. “He always maintained he loved us both,” she states.
For Kagiso, from the word go she wanted no part of a polygamous marriage. “From the word go I wanted no part in polygamy. In fact, I gave him an ultimatum. I told him it was either me or her. He then told me he would leave her but we would have to support their child. I agreed to that arrangement. I decided not to go ahead with the courts (divorce). All I knew was that their relationship had ended. She would sometimes come to visit us at home but I just concluded that she was there because of their child and I had no problems because I had accepted my husband’s child,” Kagiso said.
Her world would crumble once again when Mpho gave birth to a second child. She says at the time, she had also just had her own child.
Kagiso says at this point her husband was adamant that he wanted to marry Mpho. “It was not easy at all. I prayed about the issue. Mpho and I were not getting along at the time. We only started being cordial around 2018 but there was still a level of jealousy. God always has his plans and so here we are,” she shared.
For her part, Mpho says her family was against her polygamous relationship and marriage. She says her family was not a part of her wedding plans.
“Kagiso was leading our wedding plans. She has honestly been a sister and a mother to me. I don’t think I would have been able to do this with anyone else,” Mpho said.
On how they are able to play their roles, and not step on each other, Mpho says: “Well, we have found a way to make it work. I know my place and so I let Kagiso take the lead in most of the conversations but my word matters as well and is taken just as seriously.”
According to the pair, their family setup is not easy, they encounter difficult situations but they always make it work. The two sister wives have found love in each other as they raise their families.
However, the two wives say they can only allow their husband to marry just one more woman. Four wives according to them will be extreme and they will never allow Sekati to go that far.
For them, their docu-series is not about promoting polygamy but about sharing their love story. The Sekati’s docu-series is in 13 parts and airs every Sunday on YTV and DStv channel 291. They reveal, through their marketing officer, Basadi Masimolole, that the reality show is in the works.