Preserve your life at all costs- Trust Easily not

Kealeboga Ngwigwa | Tuesday November 28, 2023 06:00

A couple of months later, while everything was still fine and one can see the flames of our love from miles away. We were like Romeo and Juliet until he abandoned me with a four (4) months swollen belly and into thin air, brother vanished.

I struggled with raising my boy alone and now he is four. I vowed to myself that I will not have another baby unless if I meet a guy who would propose marriage. Of course, I met a few guys and still kept my vow. There is a day I wish not to remember at all.

A day that I met a guy who made me break this very principle. He was so smooth when articulating himself and poised with so much confidence and esteem. As foolish as I became, I fell in his claws and what would a tiger do amidst prey?

I was torn apart because he also left when I was only three months pregnant. I have conceived yet another boy about a week ago. I feel like I am a loser and I have failed in all aspects of life. Who on earth will want to settle with a woman has two children from different fathers? Matters worst, both fathers are not anywhere close to being present in the lives of their children? I am so ashamed of what I have become and nor are my parents proud. I do not blame them at all, I could feel the same if I was them. I do not know how to figure this out and I feel like I am in a desert alone? Help a sister out Coach. Yours, Anonymous Dear Anonymous, Afore and above all, congratulations for being a Mother to yet another beautiful soul.

I wonder what his name is but I know he is the greatest gift anybody could ask for. There are people, some I personally support emotionally, that have a challenge to conceive children and give their partners prides and egos; “our bundles of joy”, as we often call them. So, I often say, if you have the capability to bring life, just do so because they are your legacy. It is unfortunate that you seem to be parallel with a blessing of a partner who is willing to net in their commitment and loyalty in your swamp- sphere. You can not beat yourself for that unless if of course, we had a dog- sensing skill which we would urge to say it was through negligence. Unfortunately, our noses cannot pick any malicious act before it could unfold.

So you are partly not at fault and still at fault. You are at fault because you did not protect yourself enough for the second ordeal to befall you. You must always have a strategy that will only safe you from such a tragedy ever again. For instance, you could use contraception to avoid any inconveniences. Stop putting the words uttered first before the partner’s actions, words are very cheap but action validates. On the other hand, love is love and it cares not whether you have twelve disciples like Jesus Christ, race, qualifications or whatever. If it strikes, it really strikes. So worry not about whether you are worthy of love and marriage ever again, just be spontaneous and someone authentic will realise it and make value of you in marriage. I know women who got married with more than two children off the wedlock. Possibilities are endless as long as you are living and you must be proactive towards them. Love yourself, children and life, the rest will follow.

Out of your, “so- called” ordeal, a powerful and strong woman is born. Do not let your negative perception obstruct you from meeting that woman you ought to be. #ColoringSouls

Dear Coach, I am an enthusiastic thirty- four (34) year old gentleman and very passionate about entrepreneurship. I have owned so many business which had so much potential to flourish but didn’t because I was not present to run the businesses.

I have always been employed on an eight to five system and it gives me no time to fully express my business as far as entrepreneurship is concerned. Most of my siblings and cousins who have completed their tertiary schools are home and unemployed and that breaks my heart to the core. I try to empower them by hiring them at my businesses and unfortunately, instead of building, they ruin everything. I have lost many great assets and drowned in debts simply because they were not operating the business as it should be. One day, while leasing a bar business, I entrusted my younger brother to sell and all he did was a party for his gents and before we know it, there is not stock to sell nor the money to procure another.

I always see opportunities but I am fearful to quest after them because of the fail I know lies ahead. I am struggling financially nowadays because I am relying on my salary income. What should I do for this thing to really work for me? Yours, Josh Dead Josh, I greet you in the name of “ keep the spirit alive and active”. I hope you are already pumped up. There are people who bears the same gift you have but unfortunately they lack the principles to uphold and maintain their businesses.

One big mistake that you committed was empathy for family. Business has no such vocabulary, it only means business, period! We do not open businesses to solve family problems but rather the customers. Therefore, customers should be key and prime to your operating mandate. Secondly, we do not hire out of pity but rather out of competencies and skills. Similarly, where you work, there is a structure occupied by qualifying individuals. The biggest fear, we entrepreneurs have is that we are afraid to hire. If you really believe in your idea, you should go for it. Advertise and get the right personnel who will work knowing that they must feed their families. Family will always feel entitled over your business and personal life.

That is not good for business. If you also believe in your dream, forgo employment after those that you have hired had proved the feasibility of the business idea. Once you have all these facts right in your mindset, you will run a profitable business. Do not give up, start up again, over and over again. #ColoringSouls Kealeboga Ronald Ngwigwa is the Founder and Director of Coloring Souls Coaching. A company advocating for MIND-SETCHANGE and accredited by BQA. For team building exercise bookings contact +267 72 522 213/ +267 71 830 584 or email krcoloringsouls@gmail.com for quotations.