Are We Ever Going To Register

Thulaganyo Jankey | Tuesday November 28, 2023 06:00

They go to court and start complaining about something and some post weird memes – the latter a favorite weapon for party members confined to singing in the party choir. This time registering for elections is proving more difficult than balancing a balloon on a needle in a wind tunnel.

The whole process is overflowing with cringe and strife. There have been postponements after court cases after postponements after court cases.

As so often happens a few week before the aborted registration was about to happen I got a few calls from a few suspiciously nuttier than squirrel poop politicians eyeing political office. They want to traffick me to their constituencies to vote for them. Six months ago my name would have never been uttered in any political minutes, now I share the marquee – a truly incredible rise of my stock. Trafficking me? You know there are days you just want to envelop somebody with light and warmth... preferably through the use of a flamethrower.

This is one such situation. But my ambition is more than that. I want to hear someone say ‘please come join our party and we will make you president’. I want to hear people say to me something like ‘our party chairmanship position is vacant and we thought you could hold fort’. My age has just passed the 50 mark and so that would make me a youthful MP in the Botswana Political Lexicon and parties are constantly trying to prove to a seemingly mildly interested electorate that their mantra is youth empowerment.

They could put their money where their mouth is by recruiting me - a youth at heart and in the dictionary of local politics – to show their seriousness in youth empowerment. Someone once said common sense is like deodorant. Those who need it most never use it. So how about an injection of common sense serum for local politicians?

We need to register now and get the registration process out of the way. Elections always come with a fair share of confusion. There are a couple of new parties that have been formed because there is a lack of inner party democracy at their previous parties.

This is usually the most valid political reason locally if politicians want to join a different political grouping or to form a new party. The most hilarious thing about changing parties (not panties) is that there would be others moving the other way because of the same reasons. So politicians will be seeking inner party democracy from parties some of whose members too are leaving to look for the same commodity elsewhere. Inner party democracy! What is that even? For me I always hear searching for opportunities by defectors. The way it works is the new guys are lured in with promises of council seats, parliamentary seats, central committee positions and sometimes a chance to lead the party choir. The latter sounds like an exaggeration but when recruiters run out of hooks to entice prospects there’s no limit to what they can do or say. So when the bait is firmly in their mouths they have to give a more politically- acceptable reason. And in our case it is, you guessed it, lack of inner party democracy!

(For comments, feedback and insults email inkspills1969@gmail.com) Thulaganyo Jankey is a Rapporteur and training consultant who runs his own training consultancy that provides training in BQA- accredited courses. His other services include registering consultancies with BQA and developing training courses. Contact him on 74447920 or email ultimaxtraining@gmail.com.