FORGIVE YOURSELF TO OPEN DOORS OF A GREAT FUTURE

Kealeboga Ngwigwa | Tuesday March 26, 2024 06:00

My results were not satisfactory hence non- continuity was the only order for me. I am currently living with a lot of regrets because life is so difficult for me. I cannot get a job anywhere and most of the vacancies advertised require qualified personnel. Sometimes I feel like I really hate myself for all the stupid decisions I made that led me to this point. I have completely lost a sense of me. I was once academically celebrated by my family and community but now I am a laughing stock and brought shame to my family. What advise can you give me Coach because I really need to put my life back on a good track? Yours, Anonymous

Dear Anonymous, I am very sorry for your experience and I know that it is not so easy for you. The most beautiful thing about school is that it has no time frames to it. I know people who have acquired their degree qualifications at the age of late fifty. Even some who had their Masters qualification at a later date. You have done all bad things that led you to failure and its a good thing to acknowledge that they were your own decisions and we cannot blame anyone for them. You may have been indulging on the negative behaviour with your friend but you should not blame them for your situation right now. Once you come to terms with those facts, you must forgive yourself first for the mistakes you have committed. If you do not forgive yourself, you will live the day of failure for the rest of your life hence get your life clouded with regrets all over. It is time to create a way through which you can raise money to self- sponsor yourself to retake all courses you have failed. We cannot always cry over spilt milk since there is nothing that can be done with it. But we are alive to change scenarios of our lives. Try to look for jobs that demand no higher qualifications or perhaps start a small business to help you raise the funds that will put you on track to solicit your degree. You have the power to change the negative perception you think your family and community has upon you and everything is a decision away. All the best friend. #ColoringSouls

Dear Coach, I have the most difficult time dealing with my Supervisor at work. I have been serving one organisation for the past twelve years and had dedicated my life to its service. Three years ago, the then manager left for greener pastures and I was entrusted with the responsibility to hold the department fort. I was doing very well and had a good working rapport with my subordinates. After my acting tenure matured, the company could not confirm me for the position but rather brought in someone new to steward the operations of the department. I had accepted that and tried to render my support to the new manager. Sometimes I feel that my manger feels intimidated because he doesn’t understand the business the way I do and his ego and pride makes us to be parallel in execution of our duties. The working environment is now toxic that I feel jailed in a small cage and I no longer enjoy it all. I want to quit even though I do not know what am going to do afterwards. I am in too much confusion and I have no idea how I can deal with this since I am a sole breadwinner at home. Please assist Coach. Yours, Anonymous

Dear Anonymous, We spend most of our time at our workplaces and it is very unfortunate when we endure pain when we are there, especially pain that is deliberate. I often say, no one has the power to determine how my life should be like because they enter the courts of employment the same fashion as me, that is, we both applied to the same address and got hired through the same procedures and processes. Now because of that, we are all vulnerable since we are employees. I would only be worried if the furniture and other machinery were to behave negatively towards me because they belong to the company and are immovable unlike man. The man you are running away from can be no more tomorrow. So whether someone likes or dislikes you, it is not important because you did not apply for that but rather to fend for your family. Guess what, they are also for the same mission. If you quit, their families will not struggle but yours will. You must be mindful that we are competing for opportunities and others uses different tactics to topple us in the race of acquiring them. Therefore do not allow yourself to be a victim of such negative intents. Focus on doing your job and feeding your family not forging relationships with strangers you met through your employer. The wage or salary is more important. #ColoringSouls

Dear Coach I have mistakenly impregnated a seventeen year old girl and I am twenty years. This matter was reported to the police for having sexual inter- course with a minor whereas I am also a minor. I am charged with rape and I am currently awaiting a trial that had potential to lock me behind prison doors. I do not dispute that the child is mine and I want to be part of her life. I am denied an opportunity to see and build a bond with her. My mother always utter negative words and sheds energy towards me, rubbing it on my face that I am going to be a prisoner. I am so devastated that I try to numb my pain with alcohol and other intoxicating substances. I feel that I am headed towards doom yet deep down my heart I know that I can build a better future for myself, child and her mother. What should I do in this case Coach? Yours, Anonymous

Dear Anonymous, It is not that I am condoning the minors’ sexual inter courses but I acknowledge that you made a mistake that cannot be rectified. The child is born and the focus must be on that. I would suggest that you look for employment so that could give you an oomph to provide for the baby. At times, you must show your intentions with action. That is what will move the hearts of the girl’s parents and probably earn you some forgiveness. You can also pave a way for your baby momma to go back to school if you are employed. I am not an expert at matters of the law, hence I would suggest that you liaise with legal practitioners so that they give you accurate guidance and counsel on matters of the law. #ColoringSouls

Kealeboga Ronald Ngwigwa is a Life Coach, Author, Columnist, Team Builder and an Events Director who believes that emotions build an attitude which ultimately builds one’s character. Forward your enquiries to krcoloringsouls@gmail.com or WhatsApp +26772522213 for advices.