SELF- LOVE: A SHIELD TOWARDS DESTRUCTION

Kealeboga Ngwigwa | Thursday August 29, 2024 13:32

He was such a loving man and I felt that there was no one better to marry except him. My best choice ever, I would even say to my friends, just praising him. He was worthy though. He gave me two (2) more boys. I got involved in a car accident with my husband and I got severe injuries which prompted a fewer body operations with some unsuccessful. I couldn’t satisfy my husband’s sexual needs. He started to scorn me and always made me feel like I was not anything. Each one of us received an obese claim from the accident fund. He insisted we start the taxi business and used my money to purchase two minibuses. He has never contributed a single cent towards that course but he runs it and make decisions without me knowing. I realised that he has changed the vehicles’ ownership to himself. My problem escalated when I realised that my daughter, now aged twenty- nine (29) is dating her step- father. I mean, my own husband. I was in shock and it really hit me so hard. I wonder, how does my own daughter snatch my husband, her supposed to be father, from me and they even play jolly before my eyes. It is so disgusting and very painful.

A couple of days after I found out what has been going on behind my back, he took my car keys and gave them to my daughter and I currently use public transport. I am a stranger in my own home. I have made attempts to involve our parents but help is not available from them. I am so depressed now Coach, what should I do? Yours, Anonymous Dear Anonymous, The story you have shared is very touching and so sad. I am so sorry that you are going through this painful experience in solace. The hope you had is now far- fetched since those that you thought would light it up are the ones shutting it off. I sincerely apologise to say that your husband is so not loyal and lacks so much discipline, both personally and socially. Personally, he could not differentiate between his daughter and someone fit to date. You simply cannot raise someone as your child and taking all the fatherhood responsibilities then you ultimately convert them into a lover. I believe that, he has never seen your daughter as his but rather she has always been his potential lover since. On the other hand, your daughter is exactly the same as your husband because she also lacks the gut guard that could refrain her from being involved with her step- father. They could have both chosen people from the outside, not those from the same roof. Your husband is so unfair and unjust to blame you for the accident since no one arranges for it to happen.

Nobody can put their lives in danger for no good reason. My best regards and wishes all sent to your health, have a speedier recovery. It is not a crime to be sick hence a part of life to endure such conditions. This is why we even make vows to that effect. He has always had the desire to leave you, just that he did not have reasons sufficient to do so early. Being sick does not mean you cannot find live again. As long as you live, great things are always awaiting to be born from you. Do not lose hope in that department. You may have been married in community of property but for him to change ownership of your business is so uncalled for. There should be consultation of such a matter between you two then action the change in agreement. In short, he stole from you. I know you care for them both but unfortunately, they do not share a mutual feeling. You cannot stick in a place that torments your peace. You need peace, dead or alive. Therefore, I will advice you to be courageous to leave all that you have sweat for behind for the sake of your health as well. You need to give yourself some space in a totally different environment, away from your troubles. It is okay to let them win for now, later the world will feed them karma because it is a seed they have both planted. It is a big step for you but the rewards it bears are amazing. It is the time for you to love yourself more than ever. You have loved others in the past enough and you have an opportunity to start a new chapter of your life. Rise and shine. #ColoringSouls

Kealeboga Ronald Ngwigwa is the Founder and Director of Coloring Souls Coaching. A Training Consultancy advocating for MIND-SET CHANGE. It is accredited by BQA and HRDC. For team building exercise bookings contact +267 72 522 213/ +267 71 830 584 or email kealebogan@coloringsouls.co.bw for quotations. Check out https://coloringsouls.co.bw for more information.