I have other tapes please!

Bame Piet | Thursday July 17, 2014 11:13

I have been watching a series about some tapes being used against some people, whilst others went to court to seek authority to prohibit some people from using these tapes. You see, this country is a nice place to live in. Just a few months ago we were told about a missing laptop, and how some family was facing extinction because of this laptop.

I didn’t take this laptop thing seriously, but, now that there is another series playing in our fore eyes, I think that laptop issue was serious. So, I am going to make it my mission to look for the laptop to save this poor family from making their untimely appointment with their maker. It must be horrifying to be driven to your maker prematurely.

Think of the good things that we enjoy whilst we still breath in that oxygen – the meals, entertainment,  cars, and all the niceties – all of a sudden, you meet guys in plain clothes pointing metal fingers at you. Even worse is when they hack you to death with a sharp object. It looks like the laptop intifada is at ceasefire, albeit for now.

But what still intrigues me is the energy with which some people are pursuing tapes that are believed to contain good audio recording. It is not clear whether these tapes are radio cassettes, DVDs, or on MP3.

What I’m pretty sure about is that I have tapes. Upon learning that tapes are so important, to the extent that the High Court had to be called in, I have decided to make as many duplicates as possible. Some of them are in a house somewhere in the north of the city, and are placed in a high security place with at least four armed men, in the company of three dogs. The tapes are also in a metal safe, and we dug a hole in the floor of the house to keep them there.

I love the tapes and have invested all my last thebes to keep them secure.

I shared the other batch of tapes with a trade union member of my choice, who has promised that he will release them when the time is right. He has also assured me that his copies are kept in a very secure place in his farm far away from the eavesdropping city people.

He has not engaged any security personnel to guard the place where the tapes are kept, but he visits it every month end.

Also is possession of the tapes is a Chinese man, who has promised to make thousands of duplicates which we intend to distribute to the public, of course, with a fee of just around P20.

So I was very disappointed the other day when I learned that some people went to the high court to demand others to return the tapes, when I’m just next door. This is an injustice, discrimination that cannot be left unchallenged. My friends have advised me to sue the party who applied to the court seeking to interdict others from sharing the tapes, or any other material believed to be linked to them. I also want to be sued please. We shall see whether they will also interdict my Chinese friend who is on his way back home to print thousands of copies, which he will sell to neighbouring countries in the region.

Nonetheless, I am open for talks. I can stop him from printing only if I’m offered at least P900k or more to build myself a mansion in one of these high class suburbs. I’m not the type of guy who will reject a P40 million offer to cross the floor to some red ants. No! I am available for talks, and the P900k should be delivered to me in hard cash at a location chosen by myself.

The money should be delivered by one person, who should not be armed with any weapon that my cause me injuries or death. After delivery of the cash, I reserve the right to leave that place to go and count the money, and make sure that it is not counterfeit.

Once I am satisfied with the cash, the deliveryman, or lady, should then leave our point of exchange and never look back before he has covered 100 meters or more. I don’t want manga manga!

Once I’m satisfied that indeed the payment was real cash, and the exact amount that I demanded, that’s when I can phone my Chinese guy to stop his print run.

Any agreement between myself and them, I should reserve the copyright of these tapes because I risked my life to collect them.  In my collection of tapes there is Brenda Fassie and the Big Dudes, Chicco, Peta Teanat, Sankomota, and Chimora amongst other big stars of the 80s. Those are the tapes I’m prepared to die for.