School bully speaks out, apologises
Correspondent | Friday January 22, 2021 16:31
Student well-being is crucial but when the world was hit with the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic, some of these issues took a backseat.
It is common knowledge that school can be smooth sailing for some students and hell for others either academically or socially.
Bullying is a common occurrence across all Botswana schools, but are we speaking about it? Are we addressing it or like most issues we have turned a deaf ear to it? And now that we are battling COVID-19, we have perhaps found the perfect excuse to sideline student issues.
Research defines bullying as aggressive acts carried out by a group or an individual repeatedly and over time against a victim who cannot easily defend him or herself. It takes minutes for one student to bully another student and potentially years for that student to heal from that.
Some students never fully recover from what other students put them through during their school years. Bullying can be verbal where perpetrators are constantly insulting victims, mocking them, and making fun of them. It could be about their appearances or simply how they talk. There is also physical bullying where perpetrators use physical force on other students by hitting them or violently shoving them around.
Why do some students bully? Bullies usually have insecurities and low self-esteem and so they resort to bullying. Other students might bully because of an unhealthy living environment at home or constant conflicts at home. Some students bully simply because they are jealous of the victim, thinking they are smarter than them or simply because they feel they are the teacher’s favourite. Some students become bullies because of peer pressure or they want to prove themselves to their peers. Some students simply do it because they think it’s fun.
A former student of Molefhi Senior School, Phenyo Nkala, who is also a gifted young musician, an artist by the stage name Jackalass Onetym, explains that last year he was involved in a bullying incident in which he was one of the perpetrators. He explains that at the time he was just doing it for fun. He did not understand the effects it would have on the victims.
‘’Around early 2020 there was a video of us trending on Facebook where a group of boys were making threats to Form 4 students at Molefhi Senior Secondary School and I was among the crew making those threats,” he says. “I found it fit to apologise and later released ‘I’m Sorry’ to apologise to the students and the nation at large for my unacceptable behaviour. “I deeply regretted the video because bullying is wrong and I am not that person. “I advise all Form 5 students and all students to refrain from bullying each other and refrain from hanging [around] with [the] wrong crowds. “I advise students that their behaviour in schools will always catch up with them hence it is important they carry themselves in the right way.”
Bullying is traumatising for victims. They are always anxious wondering what their bully will do next and when they will next face embarrassment at the hands of their bullies. Bullying leaves victims with low self-confidence and low self-esteem. They feel worthless and carry emotional scars that may or may never heal.
Physical bullying traumatises some students who even drop out of school. Some students lose concentration with schoolwork, which ends up leading to poor school performance. When trying to deal with bullying, students should be empowered and educated. Teachers and guardians should encourage students to report bullying to and parents should refrain from saying “ba go godisa ngwanaka” when their children report bullying.
Jackalass Onetym adds that bullying can be hard to deal with, especially if the reasons why some students bully others are not known.
“O kgona go fithile bana ba goletse ko lapeng le ba tshwengwang kana ba na le mathata and to make themselves feel better ba tshwenya ba bangwe. “Peer pressure plays a major role and it’s also going to make it hard to solve issues of bullying, especially because bullies are never given a chance to tell their side of the story.”
As a student that once participated in the horrible behaviour, Jackalass Onetyme advises that school authorities should look at the factors behind both sides in the incident, instead of rushing to punish bullies.
TEBELELO TSHEGETSANG*
*Tebelelo is also a fiction writer and currently has a page on Facebook (@WriterT) where she shares some of her short stories, articles and anything else she finds comfort in writing.