Passion Killings Are Sinful

Ignatious Njobvu | Monday October 8, 2018 12:25

How we as a community came to accept that someone can commit murder in the name of passionately loving the other just baffles me. The most recent incident I read was when a lady murdered her boyfriend who was seeking separation. I am sure so many people are abhorred by the turn of events. Passion Killings are not a new thing, but seem to have become so fashionable and happening at an alarming rate.

Most people in relationships today have had other love relationships before the current one. You would be surprised to learn of the many failed previous relationships that married people can tell.

Some even invested their last resource in quest of nurturing that relationship. A married friend of mine just told me that he once bought a queen bed on high purchase, having to balance off in four months. The very day he completed his last instalment, was the day he was kicked out of the relationship.

He could only admire some other man sneaking inside the house and probably utilising the very bed he had bought fully. Some lady also told me how she cared for a non-employed man whom she took in as her lover.

She provided capital for him to start a sewing business by taking a loan. According to her story, immediately this man stabilised financially he dumped her. The dumping was so cruel in that he invited her to his new girlfriend’s house so that she could witness his new happiness. In all these circumstances I have mentioned, none of them committed murder as a result. Neither did they commit suicide themselves.

They treated their ordeals as temporal setbacks on their way to better relationships. What makes you think that your own ordeal is far worse than what other people go through?

Allow me to express my views on this matter. As a conservationist, my views premise largely on the wording of the bible. Man and Woman are meant to live collaboratively.

This supposes that their different roles must complement one another. None of them plays a bigger role. None should claim supremacy over the other. It is clear that Man was commanded to love the Woman.  In my view, the encompassing range of this instruction includes providing physical and financial security. It is a man’s duty to provide for his woman. Buying her gifts, taking her out for entertainment, spoiling her kids, enhancing her self-esteem by saying some nice things to her is all part of loving her.

In fact, most African cultures teach us that a woman in a relationship is not obliged to fend for herself financially. If indeed she does so, that is because she has to supplement what her man is already providing.

At times, some extraordinary circumstances befall couples, forcing the woman to find a job. All things being equal, she is not expected to work hard for finances but the man should.

On the other hand, a woman is instructed to submit to her man. We should remember that this is a reciprocitory action. As a way of appreciating the loving coming from her man, a woman naturally submits in the relationship.

She does so by ensuring that all things that a man needs to go in search for finances are ready for use on time. For example, she ensures that you look presentable for the job at hand.

She encourages her man to go an extra mile in his work. She makes sure that her children grow up consistent with family values. After a long hard working day, a woman provides a nice hot meal for her man. She does this knowing very well that she is playing her role in a love relationship. If her man decides to help in these areas, then she views that as a romantic gesture.

All these tasks are supposed to be done by couples in a relationship. The purpose of which is to grow in unison financially and otherwise.  We must understand that there is no independence in a relationship. It is like an organisation with different departments.

Therefore, when are relationship goes bad, we need to have it at the back of our minds that whatever has been accumulated does belong to both parties.

Even if couples did not systematically invest together, they ought to realise that whatever small investments that was made to enhance the affection was done in the moment of so much passion, with both parties contributing something somehow.

If we indeed appreciate that partners play some role in building a love relationship at all times, we won’t feel cheated when the engagement comes to a halt. Let us grow up and stop killing our lovers. My hope and wish is that the just passed independence holidays won’t have passion killing statistics. I hope you had a great independence break.