The feedback left me wondering if there was a landlord seminar to specifically deal with me because it seemed to be choreographed from Broadway. Everything about the feedback screamed trouble and there were subtle menacing undertones of ‘we will get you one day’. At this rate, the readership of this column might well dwindle to the point where I cannot even fill a closet with readers. So, today’s instalment is meant to balance the injustices of last week and possibly salve the week-long wounds and try to fill up a few closets with readers. Some gleeful tenants also responded by thanking me for telling it like it is and putting the leeches that trade as landlords in their place.
Some even suggested I should be given a medal of some sort in recognition of my effort to speak for the voiceless. Voiceless in this case means tenants and this left me very baffled. My response – retort actually – was to ask if he didn’t think my effort last week was good enough because in my mind I should be honoured with a statue for speaking for them. I do not mean to suggest here that all tenants are thoughtless jerkwards. Far from it. Plenty of tenants are nice. Errant, but nice! I myself was once a tenant. I was even, briefly, an errant one, although I am thinking of petitioning the courts to have that expunged from my record. So it is deflating for someone you have ‘travelled for’ like our president would say, to only thank you with a little medal when there’s so much they could have done to recognise your contribution to mankind. Because of that, tenants will not get away so easily. This week the theme is about you and your drama. The trauma that you visit on landlords is stuff for horror movies. Tenants are usually from several places – previous landlords, the village and hell. The latter is the least desirable one. You would agree on rent payment date and every month, they will be late. Usually they spin yarns like • The boss is outside the country • The cleaner has run away with the accountant in tow • System is down at work • COVID-19 has ravaged me and my bank account
The height of the clash between the two parties is when the tenant has to vacate the house. Yes, that security deposit! Some tenants will leave your house looking like a scene from a Palestinian town. Broken door locks, stained walls, broken toilets, leaky faucets, broken tiling meaning the landlord will have to do some massive patchwork after the tenant is gone. And the tenant would still demand the security deposit. These citizens from hell are unrelenting and no matter how much you try to tell them how their security deposit cannot even cover the damages, they will eventually report you to their father, Facebook. There you will gain notoriety as a deceitful landlord who should be avoided like the road between Mogoditshane Supa Save and Metsimotlhabe. All in all, the relationship between the two is a fractious one. This relationship needs constant nurturing from the police, from sheriffs, from courts and all those that are in the value chain of the tenant vs landlord battles. But we need each other. And so before you accuse me of ineptitude and that I don’t even have the smarts to organize a booze-up in a brewery, just know that we are all guilty of haemorrhaging this very important relationship and we must all try to make it work. Somehow!
(For comments, feedback and insults email [email protected]) Thulaganyo Jankey is a training consultant who runs his own training consultancy that provides training in BQA- accredited courses. His other services include registering consultancies with BQA and developing training courses. Contact him on 74447920 or email [email protected].
