I did everything I possibly could so that I give her the life she desired and loved her like she was the only woman alive on planet earth. After a good six years, our union came to cease and it broke my heart so much.
I am filled with a lot of bitterness and anger because of what she put me through and at times I feel that all women are like that. Whenever I meet someone, I recall every bad experience that my former partner has made me endure and the new relationship would not last. I see my ex on each one of them and I cannot seem to trust like I once did. I live a very lonely life since I am afraid of falling in love again. I do not want to experience the heart-break just like the latter that got me divorced. How do I get over this excruciating trauma and get to love again? Please help me out Coach. Yours, Anonymous
Dear Anonymous, I know that loving someone and giving your all to the relationship has very detrimental outcomes when you break- up, especially the one you are married to. It is often said, once bitten, twice shy. You are therefore prone to be in a similar position. That is, you question every opportunity of falling in love that comes your way.
Pain alters our perceptions and approach to how we do things. Love remains to be a beautiful thing and everyone of us deserves a second or many shots at it. Despite what we go through, love will always remain love. People are raised differently and they value things uniquely. We are not the same and we cannot yield the same outcomes even if we use the same tools to deploy whatever we are tasked with. Similar to food, they are some that when you eat, you react so bad, that is, vomit, diarrhoea or maybe get to swallow them but you cannot stop eating because of that experience. You must continue to try different cuisines until you find the perfect one for your health. Your ex-wife does not represent any other person in your future. Open your heart and allow it to love. It is the nature of love to fall out of and into it. You can only learn from what transpired in your past and use it to inspire yourself positively in love. You deserve much better, until you embrace that, doors of love possibilities will widely open for you. Your future is more beautiful than the past. #ColoringSouls
Dear Coach, I have graduated about five years ago and since then, I have been trying to apply for jobs and have been getting rejection a lot often. I have started to give up on the quest to have a better life. I struggle a lot and sometimes it is overwhelming that I see no use or importance in living. I have seen most of my school colleagues excelling in their careers and I wonder what do not do that deprives me such blessings. I survive through begging from my family and sometimes friends and it is not a good position to be in. I feel that I am even known for that and I can sense the vibe when I call or visit my family or friends. Despite engaging experts in career coaching, there is nothing coming into fruition and I am at the verge of losing hope. What can I do Coach to break this excruciating process ? Yours, Anonymous
Dear Anonymous, I understand how painful it could be to have sweat hard to earn your degree and it bears no fruit for you. It is unfortunate that our societal system encourages us to go to school and emphasise that we seek employment to have a prosperous life. I have a different view towards that norm. Have you ever wondered how much you are worth? Your degree may have been the same as that of your excelling school mates but maybe an eight to five job is not designed for you. I will advise that you develop ideas that could raise a business to escape the begging life. Use your expertise to identify problems within your community or perhaps go where you are not known and strive to initiate solutions towards the identified problems. We lack so much confidence that we could run our businesses. What is different about Kabelo Binns, Satar Dada from us? They are only human but do not think like ordinary people.
They think outside the box and exercise their utmost courage in implementing their dreams. I am sure you have dreams. But what you need is a strategy that could propel you to attaining them. Start a small business that demands small capital like a car wash. For sure there are plenty of cars in your neighbourhood to wash or perhaps people who survive through eating - there’s a need for food. A job can never draw you to financial freedom. We need to feel ashamed of doing other jobs because no money is labelled on how it was earned. A P10 note, will always be green. You need to start thinking extra ordinarily. #ColoringSouls
Dear Coach, I am doing Form Four and I do not want to fail my studies so that I become a doctor in my future. The biggest challenge I have has always been battling was Mathematics. I fail it so dismally and it really pains me a lot. I have tried all I can so that I improve on it but I keep on losing to it.
My Maths teacher also yells at me sometimes and that kills my esteem and confidence on excelling on the subject. Other subjects are so smooth and I hit the greatest marks on them. I do not struggle with learning them at all unlike Maths. I feel Maths is going to disadvantage me when I am applying for my medicine course. What can I do to overcome this failure? Yours, Anonymous
Dear Anonymous, I honestly believe that Mathematics is not difficult for you but rather you have just developed some negative attitude towards the subject. You believe that it is the most difficult subject and your approach is already ailing. Until you change that in your mind-set, you will realise that you are dominating it.
Unlike other subjects that keep on changing concepts with time, Maths’ formulas and concepts never change. So if you practice them often, they will forever embede in your long-term memory and failure will be an issue of the past. Good luck in your academic journey. #ColoringSouls Kealeboga Ronald Ngwigwa is a Life Coach, Author, Columnist, Team Builder and an Events Director who believes that emotions build an attitude which ultimately builds one’s character. Forward your enquiries to [email protected] or WhatsApp +26772522213 for advices.
