Why are so many people inclined to criticise others and in some cases fast to impose their value systems on others and denounce them as good for nothing souls?
Why are some people prone to closing their hearts to different approaches and views? Is it acceptable for some people to feel they have the moral authority to set standards for conduct and demand full compliance with such?
Can’t people live side by side in peace, embrace differences, learn from them and grow?
Three weeks ago, my friend’s son moved to Germany, not to look for a job, but to study at one of the universities. Germany is a well-developed country with approximately 400 tertiary institutions that attract students from many parts of the world. The young man, whom I call nephew, was excited about the prospect of living and studying in that country.
Unaccustomed to being ill-treated purely because of the pigmentation of his skin, prior to moving to Germany, never once did it dawn on this unsuspecting soul that he could be subjected to racism from the very people he was excited to live with for a period of about three years.
Distraught and on the verge of shedding tears, he called me, and took time to narrate what he witnessed on his way home from the University. He was with his classmate on the train, a young Turkish man fluent in German, when a handful of insensitive ill-disciplined natives decided to humiliate and assault his helpless classmate in what seemed to be a racially motivated attack.
While I would be the first to appreciate that this unfortunate behavioural fau pax is not ubiquitous in Germany, the truth is, any behaviour that veers dangerously close to racist-fuelled prejudice is unacceptable and must be called out. Simply because it is abominable for people to be adjudged worthless and undeserving to live simply because of their colour, something that will always remain skin deep.
While I would never describe myself as an emotional person, in the process of listening to my nephew’s story, I found myself struggling to keep tears that were already stinging my eyes from spilling out.
And I wondered whether we have a similar problem in Botswana. Perhaps not so much racism, because over 95% of us are the same colour anyway, but are we intolerant of people who are somehow different from us or whose lifestyle is not aligned to ours? Rather than display the spirit of intolerance with all its ugly off-shoots, would it not be beneficial to accept others despite all sorts of readily discernible differences and endeavour to understand why they are different or do things differently? Or are we happy to be part of the judgemental subset of society?
Victims of fundamental attribution error usually judge people on the basis of their attire, grooming, height, weight, confidence, career, social-background, economic-standing, accent, tribe, nationality, religion, gender, politics and other factors. All these balls are curved by design. We may instinctively discriminate people on account of the foregoing factors.
Factors that may be way beyond their control! If you have ever been consistently exposed to this flawed and rather shallow way of assessing the worth of people, wouldn’t you agree that such negativity could be exhausting emotionally, physically and mentally?
Owing to the fact that most children are born with a tabula rasa mind, a brain that is uncontaminated by all forms of depravity that abounds in the world, it is only reasonable to assume that societal victims of judging others pick this unacceptable behaviour from the less tolerant and perhaps outwardly unaccommodating members of society. While this would never justify the repulsive spirit of being judgemental, it helps to appreciate what drives this nasty and uncompassionate spirit that continues to grow across the globe.
What if we find ourselves floating purposelessly in the world’s judgemental pool! Winston Churchill, arguably the greatest wartime prime minister of Great Britain, advised, “Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” It is important to objectively assess our attitude and introspect.
Empathy should drive us to put our feet in the shoes of discriminated people and blow away all wisps of smoke that might compromise us. Without fail, as the shoes tighten around our toes, and begin to relentlessly pinch us, we would be forced to consider being more compassionate and accommodative of others.
What if we are victims? The path of least resistance is to ignore such behaviour, get sucked up in all forms of unfairness by ‘judges’ and pretend we do not observe anything untoward. What if we observe others subjected to different forms of prejudice? Have we ever been tempted to toe the line of wilful blindness? Is that kind of response reasonable?
At the risk of being ignored for victim blaming, I would suggest that a proper view of self-esteem is essential. We need not allow ourselves to be abused by judgemental people to the extent that we feel as worthless as they want us to consider ourselves. Would the pressure to conform and connect with others drive us to ignore various forms of injustice as if our survival is anchored on these factors?
We cannot assist shallow individuals in their endeavour to discredit and disparage us. It would be irresponsible of us to choose to hive off the responsibility to be accountable for our feelings to inconsiderate people while riding the dumb hope that all will be well.
That would be tantamount to disrespecting ourselves. Let us all be wary of self-appointed judges! A cavalier attitude towards dealing with ‘judges’ is unacceptable! May we summon all the courage, wisdom and strength we need to meaningfully contend with the growing spirit of judging others!
